Before and After “I DO” (1) – The Right Person Myth

Can’t believe it’s already February? Neither can I. Did you know that there is a special day in February? No, not President’s day, although we are happy we get that day off from work. I am talking about Valentine’s Day. Even if I don’t remind you of it, you have probably seen advertisements everywhere about flowers and chocolates. Or your wife or girlfriend will remind you of it. Have you noticed that especially around this time flowers are a little more expensive? I mean us practical guys think about that stuff, right? Why can’t we buy flowers after Valentine’s Day and take them out to dinner after Valentine’s Day when things are a little bit more affordable? If your special lady welcome that idea, don’t ever let her go, you have found the perfect girl.

All kidding aside, I believe one of the most important things in our lives is relationship, especially yourmarriage relationship, or dating relationship if you are single. Yet we go to school and we learn about math, science, literature but nothing about relationship. No wonder we often go into dating or marriage relationships believing the things we learn from popular movies, TV shows and songs, and wonder why this relationship thing is so difficult. What I hope to do in the next four weeks is to start a discussion on dating and marriage. We will talk about some practical relationship stuff and we will have fun in the process. Today we are going to start by first talking to the singles, and we are going to talk about a myth many of us have been led to believe. But is it true? I will let you be the judge.

Moving Forward

Becoming the person who the person you are looking for is looking for is hard. But it is not as hard as getting married and being unprepared. Think about a couple of things you can do this week to become that person—the right person.

Discussion Questions

1. Think about some popular movies, TV shows, songs, and websites. Based on what you are seeing and reading, what have you learned from our culture regarding dating and marriage? Which of them do you agree with? Disagree?
2. If you were currently not in a relationship, what would your ideal “special one” look like? If you are currently in a relationship, was he or she someone you were looking for?
3. What is the “right person myth”? Do you agree that it is a myth? How have you seen this way of thinking impact your relationships or those of your friends?

4. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. In this passage, we find a list of qualities that are characteristic of the “right person.” Which of these qualities is the most difficult for you to exhibit? Which quality do you value most in someone you want to date, your spouse, or significant other?